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The Language of Peace

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NVC makes for happy and emotionally satisfied couples! It's one giant step toward relational bliss at least. Non Violent Communication (NVC) is a compassionate and empathetic communication style that reduces conflict, defensiveness, and a breakdown in communication by focusing on observations, feelings, and needs instead of pointing fingers, judging, or making demands. It creates a safe, cozy space in relationships, making the other person feel respected and cared for, but not only that, it fosters self-reflection, self-care and a deeper understanding of who you are. It can be used with spouses, children, co-workers, and friends. Anyone! 

Developed by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s because he witnessed so much violence and set out to create social change, NVC is used worldwide in many different areas including home, schools, medicine, international relations, and business. It proposes that communication escalates into conflict simply because of unmet needs, and the key to resolving them lies in identifying and addressing these needs. At its base, the practice involves four components:

  • Observation: Objectively describe the situation without judgment or evaluation. (Ex. "I noticed that you've been late the past few days.")
  • Feeling: Express emotions triggered by the observation. (Ex. When someone is late, I tend to get anxious and stressed.")
  • Need: Identify the unmet need behind the emotion. (Ex. "Because I would like to complete tasks on time, can we outline some clear expectations and shift our timelines so they are more realistic and so we can work more comfortably and effectively.")
  • Request: Make a clear, actionable request to meet the identified need. (Ex. "Can you let me know in advance when you're running late next time, so I can plan ahead accordingly."

Minimize it to:
"When you're late, I feel anxious and stressed because I need to know we'll complete our tasks on time. Would you be able to shift our timelines to work better together and let me know in advance when you'll be running late next time so I can plan accordingly."

Choosing to apply NVC in combination with listening empathically becomes the secret to relationship harmony and longevity. Beautiful! 

99+ Simple Examples of NVC

NVC Online Free Training
 Book:Nonviolent Communication: Life Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships