Shopping the other day, I witnessed a mother being physical with her young child. When many might resort to the idea that's how children must be handled, or others might judge but then look away, I chose not to. I felt compelled to be a voice for the child. For me, it was the right thing to do. I understand how imperfect and challenging parenting can be, and I recognize that we are all doing our best with the knowledge we have at this moment. So, let's continue to spread knowledge!
The Studies:
Determine the Need
Behind almost all undesirable behavior, there is a need. Identifying and helping the need will often solve the behavior. For example, the child is screaming in the store- the behavior. Ask yourself what the need behind this behavior is. Is the child tired, hungry, sad, or stressed? Does she need a hug, some water, food, or a nap? Did she drop something?
Give Choices
Example: The child is screaming in the store, and you present her with choices, such as, "You can use a quiet voice or you can take a time-out in the restroom. You decide." This gives her a chance to think, which serves as a distraction, but also to garner some control over the situation, which may help lessen her behavior.
Distract
Give the screaming child a banana or a toy. Make a funny face. You can even distract by asking questions like "What do you think? Should I get the red or yellow pepper?" as you hold up the peppers.
Article: 8 Ways to Discipline without Spanking
A few thought-provoking questions:
-If someone hit you right now, what lesson would you learn?
-Since the brain responds to spanking similarly as it does to abuse, if abuse is wrong, why isn't spanking?
-Is it morally permissible to hit a dog?
-Is it morally permissible to hit an elderly person?
-Is it okay to hit my boyfriend or for him to hit me?
The Studies:
- Being spanked is linked to an increase in mental health issues. (meta-analysis)
- The brain responds to spanking in the same way it responds to severe forms of abuse
- Hitting children leads to trauma, not better behavior.
- 30 countries have banned corporal punishment in school and at home. These countries have lower rates of teen fighting.
- Spanking increases aggression.
- Hitting Children Is Wrong
Determine the Need
Behind almost all undesirable behavior, there is a need. Identifying and helping the need will often solve the behavior. For example, the child is screaming in the store- the behavior. Ask yourself what the need behind this behavior is. Is the child tired, hungry, sad, or stressed? Does she need a hug, some water, food, or a nap? Did she drop something?
Give Choices
Example: The child is screaming in the store, and you present her with choices, such as, "You can use a quiet voice or you can take a time-out in the restroom. You decide." This gives her a chance to think, which serves as a distraction, but also to garner some control over the situation, which may help lessen her behavior.
Distract
Give the screaming child a banana or a toy. Make a funny face. You can even distract by asking questions like "What do you think? Should I get the red or yellow pepper?" as you hold up the peppers.
Article: 8 Ways to Discipline without Spanking
A few thought-provoking questions:
-If someone hit you right now, what lesson would you learn?
-Since the brain responds to spanking similarly as it does to abuse, if abuse is wrong, why isn't spanking?
-Is it morally permissible to hit a dog?
-Is it morally permissible to hit an elderly person?
-Is it okay to hit my boyfriend or for him to hit me?