The other day while shopping, I witnessed a mother being physical with her young child. While many might assume that’s just how children are disciplined, or look away, I chose not to remain silent. I felt compelled to be a voice for the child. For me, it was the right thing to do.
I understand how challenging and imperfect parenting can be, and I recognize that we’re all doing our best with the knowledge we have in the moment. Let’s continue to spread understanding and knowledge!
The Studies:
- Being spanked is linked to an increase in mental health issues. (meta-analysis)
- The brain responds to spanking in the same way it responds to severe forms of abuse
- Hitting children leads to trauma, not better behavior.
- 30 countries have banned corporal punishment in school and at home. These countries have lower rates of teen fighting.
- Spanking increases aggression.
- Hitting Children Is Wrong
Determine the Need
Behind nearly all undesirable behavior, there is an underlying need. Identifying and addressing that need often resolves the behavior itself. For example, if a child is screaming in the store, pause and consider what need might be driving it. Is the child tired, hungry, sad, or stressed? Do they need a hug, some water, food, or a nap? Did they drop something?
Give Choices
For example, if a child is screaming in the store, you might offer choices like, “You can use a quiet voice, or you can take a time-out in the restroom. You decide.” This approach gives her a moment to think, serving as a small distraction, while also allowing her to feel some control over the situation, which can help reduce the behavior.
Distract
Offer the screaming child a banana or a toy. Make a funny face. You can even distract them by asking questions like, “What do you think—should I get the red or yellow pepper?” while holding up the peppers.
Article: 8 Ways to Discipline without Spanking
A few thought-provoking questions:
-If someone hit you right now, what lesson would you learn?
-Since the brain responds to spanking similarly as it does to abuse, if abuse is wrong, why isn't spanking?
-Is it morally permissible to hit a dog?
-Is it morally permissible to hit an elderly person?
-Is it okay to hit my boyfriend or for him to hit me?
